1.
What’s
your role in your family?
I’m
the middle child. According to pop psychology, I am neglected, resentful,
unmotivated, social, a great leader, a justice seeker, and an avoider of
conflict. Pop psychology is bogus. I have never felt neglected or resentful of
my siblings. I think that I’m highly motivated, somewhat introverted, and not a
very good leader. I do attempt to avoid conflict, but I suppose even a broken
clock is right twice a day. So, what role do I play in my family?
Well,
I’m the middle child. In most notable qualities, I am in between brother and
sister, mother and father. I don’t test as well as my brother, but math comes
more easily to me than to my sister. I have more trouble making friends and
keeping sociable than my sister, but I still understand people more easily than
my brother. I enjoy learning physics from my talented father, but also writing
and art from my talented mother. I don’t get overwhelmed as easily as some of
my family members, but I’m still more sensitive to noise and crowds than
others.
All
of these things come about partly because I am
the middle child. I don’t believe that this leads to the neglect pop psychology
loves to dwell on, but it does have some important effects. I am closer
age-wise to my siblings than they are to each other. As a result, my daily
experiences are somewhat closer to theirs and I can communicate with them more
easily. For example, I can understand the mathematics Daniel gets so excited
about, but have also taken geometry recently enough to be able to effectively
explain the subject to Sarah. In doing this, I learn a lot from and am heavily
influenced by both of them. My brother has taught me to love academia in all
its forms through his ridiculously ambitious projects and late-night ramblings.
From his animated explanations of bivectors to convincing me to finally read
the GEB, I have learned to see the world more vividly. My sister has taught me
to work hard, and care deeply about others through her own caring and incredible
focus on the things she’s passionate about. From her practically continuous
flute playing to convincing me to audition for the spring musical, I have
learned to unleash my creativity.
This
essay makes it sound like there’s no downside to being a middle child. That’s
certainly not true, there are plenty of bad things too. It’s just that the good
parts vastly outnumber the bad. On one hand, I almost never get to be the first
to experience something, but on the other hand, I almost never have to be the first to experience
something. I have the opportunity to learn from my brother’s journey, but I
also get the benefit of teaching the same things to my sister. I know most of
my teachers before I meet them, and despite that I am not defined by what
Daniel has done in school. I’ve joined different clubs, tried new things, while
enjoying the knowledge of what worked for him. Sarah looks up to me as her
older sibling, and as a result I never feel overshadowed by Daniel. I’m the
moderate in the family, which means I often have to cast the deciding vote on
things. I don’t generally enjoy that responsibility, but I don’t have as strong
of opinions on most matters as my siblings do, so I can more easily be happy
with whatever is decided.
If
you look up anything about middle child online, you’ll find people who disagree
with me. According to Gigi Engle writing for Elite Daily, “…the
middle child gets the sh*t end of the stick in literally everything…We got
nothing easily. We never got away with sh*t, and crying wasn’t going to keep us
from being grounded.” Clearly, she has had an experience rather different from
mine. In her article, Engle focuses on how middle children are the best because
they have the hardest childhood, forcing them to grow up tougher than their
siblings. I think she is making a fundamental mistake. It’s true that a middle
child isn’t unique by their birth position, but they are also insulated from a
lot of hardship by their older and younger siblings. When all’s said and done,
it’s a good place to be.
